


Bang Bang (I Know You Want It)

by orphan_account



Series: GOT7 Hogwarts au [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Comedy, Crack, Gen, M/M, iridae, there's a lot of penis, this is a penis fic without all the boinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23026156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Long-distance relationships are never easy.
Relationships: Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Series: GOT7 Hogwarts au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654876
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Bang Bang (I Know You Want It)

  
The worst part about Hogwarts School is the holidays, when Mark has to leave it.

The wizarding world and the muggle one that Mark grew up in are so different that it’s hard to believe they even exist in the same universe - there have been times where Mark has genuinely worried that he just made it all up, and he’s not ashamed to say that that _terrifies_ him. Naturally, then, Mark does everything he can to keep the wizarding world as close as possible whenever he’s away, and a big part of this is contacting Jinyoung.

Unfortunately, Jinyoung is not the easiest person to get in touch with.

Mark has tried, of course. There are plenty of solutions to long term relationships in the muggle world--at first Mark actually thought it would be _easy_. But the wizarding world’s downfall is how closed off it is, sometimes even downright elitist; anything muggle-made, Mark’s found that most of the wizards he knows won’t even consider trying, and it’s no secret that Jinyoung’s family is prouder than most.

Mark has tried all that he can think of to close the distance between he and Jinyoung when they’re not at Hogwarts, but nothing has ever worked.

Jinyoung despises computers. Every phone Mark has bought for him (of which there have been many) has been broken or simply rejected within an hour of receiving it, and the whole concept of Skype is lost on him. So, eventually, Mark was forced to admit that they have only one option open to them if they have any hope of keeping in touch over the long summer holidays: owl mail.

Now, for most things, this is fine. It’s actually kind of neat, getting these hand-written letters flown in multiple times a day, (Koot gives Mark all sorts of long-suffering glares for it, but honestly he’s a fat owl and could do with the exercise) and of course the romance of this whole setup isn’t lost on Mark. Each letter he receives from Jinyoung is put away with remarkable care for a teenage boy, in the hopes that if Mark looks after them then they’ll still be there if he needs them in the future. (Mark doesn’t quite know _why_ he’d need them yet, but he’s keeping the letters anyway.)

Or- he’s keeping _most_ of them.

He’s keeping the _appropriate_ ones, Mark thinks, but even then that would insinuate that there’s something dirty or secret about the letters he and Jinyoung share. And there really isn’t! Sure, sometimes they might get a little bit sappy and embarrassing with the lovey stuff, but their written word is generally very tame and non-incriminating.

It’s the stuff that sometimes comes _alongside_ the written word that is basically guaranteed to get Mark grounded for the rest of his life.

The first time it happens, everything seems perfectly normal. Jinyoung’s letter maintains its usual tone (his parents are controlling, everyone is stupid, life is so difficult when you’re a rich, privileged young wizard) albeit there’s a bit more emphasis on the ‘ _I miss you_ ’s than is perhaps normal. Still, Mark doesn’t see that as a reason to worry. He doesn’t find it to be an indication that anything is different whatsoever, until he turns over the parchment to find something extra has been stuck to the back of it.

Mark almost chokes on his tongue. He immediately scrambles for any scrap of paper that he can scrawl a message onto, attaches it haphazardly to Koot’s leg then all but flings the fluffy brown barn owl out of Mark’s bedroom and into the night. ‘ _Did you just send me nudes via owl?!_ ’

The wait for Koot to return with a response is agonizingly long. (Mark is only slightly ashamed of how much of that wait he spends with his eyes glued to Jinyoung’s photo.) ‘ _I did say I missed you, baby. Don’t you miss me?_ ’

This letter comes with two more new pictures; Mark bites into the back of his hand to keep from groaning too loud and disturbing his family. ‘ _More and more by the minute_ ’

Jinyoung’s owl - a big, black beast of a bird named Atticus - returns with the reply this time. There’s another photo with it. ‘ _Show me, baby_ ’

 _Fuck_. Now what? Jinyoung wants pictures, but since he won’t use phones or the internet there’s nothing Mark could use to send one back. There is his sister’s polaroid camera, he guesses, and since she’s not home right now--would it really be so wrong for Mark to sneak into her bedroom and steal it for a few minutes, just to take a few dick pics?

Mark doesn’t even reach the end of that sentence before he decides that, yes, that idea is _so_ wrong.

But Jinyoung wants pictures, and Mark knows that if he wants this to become a regular thing then he’ll have to find some way to provide…

After only a few moments of deliberation, Mark shakes his head and makes for the bedroom door. “Fuck it.”

It’s late and the rest of his family are sleeping, so Mark is sure to tread carefully on the way to his sister’s room. She’s currently at a friend’s sleepover, and Mark worries for a second as he lets himself in that she’ll have taken the camera with her, but his concern doesn’t last long at all: he spots the camera almost immediately, perched innocently on the bedside table.

Mark grabs it before his conscience can get the better of him and is practically dropping his pants already as he rushes back to his own bedroom.

What follows is pretty simple. Mark does a little- uh- _preparation_ , then takes a pretty standard photo of his penis and attaches it to Atticus’ leg, sending him away with it before the picture has even developed properly.

It feels like a lifetime has passed before Koot arrives with the next message, so when he finally does land on Mark’s windowsill Mark can only describe what he feels as elation. He’s so excited to see Jinyoung’s latest response that he doesn’t even untie it from his owl, Mark just unfolds the parchment and reads-

‘ _What the fuck is this?_ ’

...Oh.

There are a few beats in which Mark does nothing but sit and stare at the message. It’s not quite what he expected, and he can’t quite think how to react -- should he be offended…?

Mark takes the note from Koot’s leg and scribbles his own in response. ‘ _Um, forgive me but I think by now you know exactly what that is_ ’

Mark has only just sent Koot away with the message when Atticus is back again. Attached to him is another note from Jinyoung, reading, ‘ _It’s broken_ ’

Okay, now Mark’s pride is definitely starting to hurt.

‘ _In perfect working order, actually. Thanks for the concern._ ’

It’s Atticus who gets sent away with that response, and Atticus who returns with another one. ‘ _No, Mark, the picture’s broken. It’s not moving_ ’

Realisation washes over Mark then, along with relief at the knowledge that his boyfriend hasn’t just suddenly decided to start critiquing Mark’s dick. Mark’s so used to moving photos by now that he hadn’t even found it worthy of note when Jinyoung’s pictures arrived; it’s one of Mark’s favourite aspects of the wizarding world. But of course, muggles can’t print moving pictures yet.

‘ _Oh, no! Muggle photos don’t move, sorry… It’s still good though right?_ ’

Atticus leaves once more with Mark’s message, and this time it takes slightly longer for him to return. Mark entertains himself by looking at Jinyoung’s photos while he waits and wonders whether he should be taking some more of himself to send back, but once he reads Jinyoung’s next reply it immediately becomes apparent that this night of picture-swapping will _not_ become a regular thing.

‘ _Mark fucking Tuan are you telling me you expect me to get off on some shit blurry picture of a cock?_ ’

Mark closes his eyes and sighs. He hasn’t even thought of how to respond when Koot suddenly comes soaring in with another piece of parchment; Mark untangles it from his owl’s leg and rolls his eyes at what he sees.

Jinyoung has sent him a very crudely drawn picture of a stick man with an erection. Underneath it, he has simply written; ‘ _Sweet dreams asshole_ ’

Mark quietly puts the drawing aside. Tonight definitely hasn’t ended like he thought it would. “Well, it was nice while it lasted,” he tells the owls.

Somehow, Koot looks even more unimpressed than he did before.


End file.
